“A book like Turecki’s has an extremely narrow view of love, and, I must say, a pretty unromantic one. It speaks of love as “happiness,” but has nothing to say about love as pleasure or aesthetic experience or self-transformation. They have a tendency to look at romantic histories as a series of failures measured against an ideal model o…
“A book like Turecki’s has an extremely narrow view of love, and, I must say, a pretty unromantic one. It speaks of love as “happiness,” but has nothing to say about love as pleasure or aesthetic experience or self-transformation. They have a tendency to look at romantic histories as a series of failures measured against an ideal model of health, a winding path of missed “red flags,” rather than as narrative turning points we live with, against, and in memory of; as episodes that, whatever their ultimate outcome, “bring us closer to the world.””
This bit was so fantastic. I completely agree that it’s extremely disappointing that articulating a vision of the good (romantic/sexual) life has been left to dating coaches and relationship influencers whose advice feels anesthetized and overly therapized. Shameless plug, but I attempted to touch on similar themes in a post I wrote last year, which also mentions TikTok relationship advice:
Did you read Becca Rothfeld’s essay collection from last year? I loved it, and it has so much to say about eros, passion, & romance in the contemporary moment!
“A book like Turecki’s has an extremely narrow view of love, and, I must say, a pretty unromantic one. It speaks of love as “happiness,” but has nothing to say about love as pleasure or aesthetic experience or self-transformation. They have a tendency to look at romantic histories as a series of failures measured against an ideal model of health, a winding path of missed “red flags,” rather than as narrative turning points we live with, against, and in memory of; as episodes that, whatever their ultimate outcome, “bring us closer to the world.””
This bit was so fantastic. I completely agree that it’s extremely disappointing that articulating a vision of the good (romantic/sexual) life has been left to dating coaches and relationship influencers whose advice feels anesthetized and overly therapized. Shameless plug, but I attempted to touch on similar themes in a post I wrote last year, which also mentions TikTok relationship advice:
https://ordinaryinstants.substack.com/p/alls-unfair-in-love?utm_campaign=reaction&utm_medium=email&utm_source=substack&utm_content=post
Did you read Becca Rothfeld’s essay collection from last year? I loved it, and it has so much to say about eros, passion, & romance in the contemporary moment!