I think this is so true and it hits on a tic of hers that often irks me which is that she is (almost) incapable of presenting herself as losing out in a situation—"the lights are so bright, but they never blind me" and so on. ("Would've Could've Should've" is a rare song where she admits to being lastingly damaged… in "Dear John" she took the matches before she could get hurt.)
I do think she's got soooome sad songs that avoid being wrapped up in her self-mythology… “Ronan,” “Bigger Than The Whole Sky,” “Soon You’ll Get Better,” “Forever Winter.” Maybe "marjorie" (though that one kind of fits into her general heroic arc), maybe "this is me trying." With the exception of "marjorie," they are also songs she basically doesn't perform ever. But they're about mourning particular events, they're not existential.
Yes! I was trying to get at that vague feeling you get that she's going "Isn't it beautiful that I'm sad?" or "Aren't I pretty when I cry?" But yes, she absolutely has songs that are just plain sad, even if they're about exes/situations. "Tolerate It" is one I love.
Found your newsletter after reading the ADHD new year's post, which I loved--and then found this, which is WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING for years, or trying to say much less eloquently. I loved 1989, what a banger of an album, and then when a lot of friends got deeply in Folklore I just..didn't feel anything listening to it? I thought maybe I was over poppy young women music as I aged further into my 30s, but then Olivia Rodrigo's debut album came out and I got to experience that heart-thumping sense of loss that singers with more emotional range can deliver. I remember feeling relieved that it seemed to be Taylor, rather than me, that was the problem! I think the point that sadness is always a brief stop on the way to something more positive, something more like winning, is spot on. And maybe that's why I used to like her music more--I used to be more like that! Always wanting to put a bow on an experience, to make everything a narrative arc. And then my life stopped working that way, and her insistence that she keep going no matter what started to grate on me.
I actually had cancer when her "soon you'll get better" song came out, about her mom having cancer, and I remember feeling weirdly (and unfairly) annoyed that even in that song, she's writing about not getting it, not wanting to accept what's happening, wanting to paint the kitchen and fix things, and her repeated "soon you'll get better" just felt like the annoying repetitions of healthy people while I was very sick. Of course, this was a song about her desperately wanting her mom to get better-completely reasonable and relatable feelings! I realized in my anger that I didn't really have a right to it, but I still felt like ugh Taylor not everything fucking works out, go live in the real world for 5 minutes. Thank you for this!
I think this is so true and it hits on a tic of hers that often irks me which is that she is (almost) incapable of presenting herself as losing out in a situation—"the lights are so bright, but they never blind me" and so on. ("Would've Could've Should've" is a rare song where she admits to being lastingly damaged… in "Dear John" she took the matches before she could get hurt.)
I do think she's got soooome sad songs that avoid being wrapped up in her self-mythology… “Ronan,” “Bigger Than The Whole Sky,” “Soon You’ll Get Better,” “Forever Winter.” Maybe "marjorie" (though that one kind of fits into her general heroic arc), maybe "this is me trying." With the exception of "marjorie," they are also songs she basically doesn't perform ever. But they're about mourning particular events, they're not existential.
Yes! I was trying to get at that vague feeling you get that she's going "Isn't it beautiful that I'm sad?" or "Aren't I pretty when I cry?" But yes, she absolutely has songs that are just plain sad, even if they're about exes/situations. "Tolerate It" is one I love.
Found your newsletter after reading the ADHD new year's post, which I loved--and then found this, which is WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING for years, or trying to say much less eloquently. I loved 1989, what a banger of an album, and then when a lot of friends got deeply in Folklore I just..didn't feel anything listening to it? I thought maybe I was over poppy young women music as I aged further into my 30s, but then Olivia Rodrigo's debut album came out and I got to experience that heart-thumping sense of loss that singers with more emotional range can deliver. I remember feeling relieved that it seemed to be Taylor, rather than me, that was the problem! I think the point that sadness is always a brief stop on the way to something more positive, something more like winning, is spot on. And maybe that's why I used to like her music more--I used to be more like that! Always wanting to put a bow on an experience, to make everything a narrative arc. And then my life stopped working that way, and her insistence that she keep going no matter what started to grate on me.
I actually had cancer when her "soon you'll get better" song came out, about her mom having cancer, and I remember feeling weirdly (and unfairly) annoyed that even in that song, she's writing about not getting it, not wanting to accept what's happening, wanting to paint the kitchen and fix things, and her repeated "soon you'll get better" just felt like the annoying repetitions of healthy people while I was very sick. Of course, this was a song about her desperately wanting her mom to get better-completely reasonable and relatable feelings! I realized in my anger that I didn't really have a right to it, but I still felt like ugh Taylor not everything fucking works out, go live in the real world for 5 minutes. Thank you for this!